Of Hollywood and Lemon Cake

There are ten movies nominated for Best Picture this year and all I can ask is why? In past years it has been a stretch to come up with five, here's what I think of the 2010 ten, for 2009...

Avatar, I haven't seen it. I don't want to wear glasses over my glasses, but will for Alice In Wonderland.

The Blind Side, ugh.

District 9, surprisingly, really good.

An Education, don't stand, don't stand so close to me, where are Sting and the boys when you need them?

The Hurt Locker, really? I fell asleep watching this movie.

Inglorious Basterds, or how WWII should have ended. I loved it.

Precious, hard to watch, really good.

A Serious Man, never heard of it.

Up, best movie I saw last year.

Up In The Air, Hollywood tells us what it's like to be fired. Please don't, although, George would take the sting out of being canned.

What's going to win? Probably Avatar, or knowing Hollywood, it will be A Serious Man. They do love the obscure. Who heard of Slumdog Millionaire before the awards season last year?

Will I watch? Yes, I love to see the gowns and what get-up Mickey Rourke will wear. In honor of the occasion, I will make my Great-Aunt Matt's Hollywood Lemon Cake. This cake is great for parties, it's old fashioned and really easy. Everyone loves it. Sorry about the picture, this was the last piece.

Hollywood Lemon Cake

Preheat oven to 350 degrees

1 Yellow Cake Mix

1 Box Lemon Jell-O

3 Eggs

2/3 cup Oil

1 cup water

2 Tbsp Fresh Lemon Juice

1 Tbsp Fresh Grated Lemon Zest, one lemon should do it

Combine all ingredients and mix with electric mixer for 2 minutes. Pour into prepared, (greased and floured), 9X13 pan. Bake at 350 degrees for 25 to 30 minutes if using glass, 30-40 if using metal. Cake is done when a toothpick or knife is inserted and comes out clean. Glaze upon removing from oven.

Glaze

2 cups Powdered Sugar

1/3 to 1/2 cup Fresh Lemon Juice, usually two lemons.

Mix glaze while cake is baking. When cake comes out of oven and while still hot, poke holes all over top with fork, going down to the bottom of the pan. Spread glaze over top of hot cake. I try not to let it all go down the sides, so glaze slowly.

Red Riding Trilogy

Based on David Peace's Red Riding Quartet, these three films were made for British TV, by BBC Channel 4. Written for the screen by Tony Grisoni. Titled 1974, 1980, and 1983. The three films also include actual events that have been greatly dramatized. Mainly, they are about two serial killers, amid the backdrop of rampant police corruption.

I kept hearing about these movies and how "Brilliant" they were. I still think there are a lot of reviewers who think if it's foreign, and obscure, it must be the best thing ever made. Elements of the films were like the finest of British Noir, think Get Carter. Gritty, bleak, and nihilistic. Those were the parts I liked.

Watching these three films was like watching paint dry in a foreign language. I know they were speaking English, I'm sure of it. However, with thick Yorkshire accents, who the hell could understand them, except a fellow Yorkshireman? You could not throw a cat without hitting a "nowt" or a "somat", I mean, I think Sean Bean turned in a fine performance, based on body language and facial expressions alone. All I know for sure is he was a construction contractor who was obsessed with swans, kind of skeezy and used the verb were way too much.

Which leads us to ALLEGORY. I had to shout it, because these films really whack you over the head with the concept. Wolves, rats, swans, corruption, innocence, sin, redemption, carnality, purity and on and on and on. Mostly, these films were confusing and disjointed. I don't think it helped having three different directors.

If you're looking for a gripping thriller about serial killers watch Silence of The Lambs or The Boston Strangler. If you want gritty Brit-Noir, rent Get Carter, the original with Michael Caine, or even The Third Man, voted number 1 film by the British Film Industry.

Lost Has Lost Me, Maybe

Lost is starting next week and we are finally supposed to get some answers. Hah, I say, hah. They lost me after the second or third season, I honestly can't remember. I did watch the season recaps, so I kind of kept up. The show has gotten more convoluted than a Univision daytime soap. I just have four questions:

1. Has this all been some kinky B.F. Skinner behaviour experiment?

2. What the hell was that smoke thing?

3. Are we gonna do the Time Warp Again?

4. Why isn't Sawyer naked more often?

These are the questions that might make me tune in for the last season. Unless it's all just a big lead up to "The Lost Movie". Then I'm really going to be pissed about the Sawyer thing.

French 75's

As I was watching Casablanca for the umpteenth time, I thought I'd write something about booze in the cinema. It's been done, better than I ever could by a guy at boozemovies.com, so I'll just tell you about my current favorite cocktail, The French 75.

One of the drinks that everyone at Rick's Cafe Americain seems to order is a champagne cocktail. There are a zillion recipes for champagne cocktails. There is one ordered by name, not by Yvonne, but by her companion, the rude Nazi, (is there any other kind?). The French 75. It's an old cocktail from the lost generation. Named after the French 75mm artillery gun used in World War I. Apparently after you drink a couple, you feel like you've been hit by one of these guns. It has enough booze in it to satisfy a Hemingway or Fitzgerald. Now, there is some controversy as to who invented it and should it be made with brandy or gin. I hear there's a certain bartender at Arnuad's in New Orleans who refuses to make it with gin, "We do not mix French wine with English liquor", can't you just hear someone saying that with a snooty French accent? I like them made with gin. Here's my tried and true recipe. Oh, and as Bogey would say, "Here's looking at you, kid".

French 75

2 oz London Dry Gin, I like Tanqueray
2 teaspoons superfine sugar
2 oz fresh squeezed lemon juice
Champagne, I like Veuve Clicquot Demi-Sec, but any champagne will do

In a chilled cocktail shaker fill halfway with ice, add gin, sugar and lemon juice. Shake, then pour into a Collins glass, (who has those?), I just use a tall glass half filled with ice. Top with the champagne. Garnish with a slice of lemon and a maraschino cherry.

A Reliable Wife

I just finished reading A Reliable Wife. Set in 1907 Wisconsin, it's a story of love, redemption, violence, passion, and utter isolation. It's the oldest story in the world, told in a fresh, new way. Even if you don't normally read books like this, it says so much about the human condition, in such startling ways, you won't be able to put it down. It's psychologically suspenseful, you can't wait to get to the end, while at the same time, the writing is so beautiful you don't want it to end. It's erotic without being vulgar or naked in your face. Sony has purchased the screen rights, I can't wait to see who will be in the movie.

The King of Rock ‘n Roll and Ribs

Elvis would be 75 today. I can’t imagine him that old. It’s almost obscene that someone that cool could even be 75. Like Marilyn or James Dean. Believe me; before he got fat and pitiful, Elvis was the definition of cool.

I have made the pilgrimage to Graceland, in the guise of taking my 70 year old aunt to someplace she’s always wanted to see. Elvis did, indeed, have lousy taste in decorating even for the 1970’s. He did have nice chandeliers and yes, the Jungle Room is kind of awesome. He ate his breakfast there every day, right on the coffee table. I especially enjoyed his collection of TV’s with bullet holes.

As someone who likes to cook, I would have enjoyed cooking for Elvis. He seemed like the kind of guy who would have loved anything you made for him. One thing Elvis did love was ribs. Living in the Great White North, it’s hard to barbecue ribs when there is an R in the month but after much research I’ve come up with a pretty good oven method. I’m not including a sauce recipe, mine goes with me to the grave. Elvis would have wanted it that way…

Candy's Rock 'n Roll Ribs

Start with the rub

¾ cup Brown Sugar light or dark
1 Tblsp Paprika
1 Tblsp Garlic Powder
(Optional) 1 tsp Penzey’s Galena Street Rib Rub can be ordered from penzeys.com
or ½ tsp cayenne pepper

Mix the above ingredients.

Preheat oven to 300 degrees

4 lbs Baby Back Ribs, some people remove the membrane on the under side of the ribs, I don’t, but you can if you want.

Salt and pepper the ribs and apply the rib rub all over.

Lay the ribs on two layers of foil with the shiny side out, cover the ribs with two layers of foil shiny side out. Seal edges tightly, turn edges up to seal really tight.

Place your rib packet on a baking sheet and bake for 2 to 2 and ½ hours, if your ribs are really meaty it could be 3 hours, or until the meat is starting to pull away from the bone.

Remove ribs from oven and turn heat up to 350 degrees.

Cut the ribs into serving size and place in baking dish, slather with your favorite sauce and place back in oven until sauce is bubbly. About ½ hour or so. I’d check on them after 20 min.

A Bread Pudding Kind of Day

I hate this time of year. After seeing and partaking of the season’s offerings for the last two months, all anyone can talk about is dieting. How passive aggressive is that? During this time of rabbit food and rice cakes, I give you comfort food. Even though we shouldn’t, we do comfort ourselves with food. It’s solitary and instantaneous. No one has to know, unless our butts start getting wider. As someone who managed to lose ten pounds between Thanksgiving and Christmas, I can honestly say, you can still lose weight and treat yourself now and then. I think the more you deprive yourself, the harder you fall off the wagon. You know what I mean, the whole bag of cookies, or the whole container of ice cream, or the whole bag of Dove Promises, we reach for when we can’t stand one more carrot stick and it’s been the day from Hell. Try this recipe, it’s really good. You can have a little and the world won’t end.

Bread Pudding with Norma’s Hard Sauce

1 cup raisins
½ cup whisky or brandy

6 to 8 slices of bread, depending on how big your slices are, I like to use French or Italian
½ stick butter
4 eggs beaten
1 cup milk
1 cup half and half
2 tsp pure vanilla extract, I use double strength, but regular will do, as long as it’s not imitation.
1 cup light or dark brown sugar
1 tsp to 1 and ½ tsp cinnamon, if your cinnamon is really strong, like Saigon Cinnamon just use 1 tsp, if it’s just regular cinnamon use 1 and ½ tsp.

Place raisins in a small bowl, pour whisky or brandy over raisins, let sit for a couple of hours or overnight.

Preheat oven to 400 degrees. You will turn oven down when you put your pudding in oven.

Tear bread into one inch pieces and place into a buttered 2 and 1/2 quart casserole. Melt the half stick of butter in the microwave. Whisk brown sugar, eggs, milk, vanilla and cinnamon with the melted butter. Drain raisins discard liquid. Add raisins to milk mixture and pour over bread, stir to combine. Let sit for 10 to 15 minutes while the oven is heating. Turn oven down to 350 degrees and bake pudding for 50 to 60 minutes. Pudding will be puffy and set. I loosely cover with foil for the last 20 – 30 minutes so the raisins won’t burn. Serve with Norma’s (my mom) Hard Sauce.



Norma’s Hard Sauce

1 stick butter
1 and ½ cups confectioner’s sugar
½ tsp vanilla
2 Tbls whisky or brandy from the raisins if there is any left, otherwise from the bottle is fine.

Cream butter and confectioner’s sugar together. Add vanilla and whisky or brandy. Chill until used. Put a dab on warm bread pudding.